Transformation in College

By Kevin Xiong

College Readiness Coordinator

It has been a decade since I started my college journey. In 2014, as a student from North Minneapolis, I would have never imagined the transformation that I would go through. 10 years later, I am pursuing a Ph.D. in Organizational Leadership, Policy, and Development at the University of Minnesota. 

Every fall that I have been in school, I have taken a picture of myself. As I look at my picture in my first year of college, I cannot help but think about how much I have grown. College transforms students. It opens students up to new perspectives, ways of learning, and a different lifestyle. I remember being so scared to start new when I entered college. I was unsure of what I wanted to do for my future and was transitioning into a new part of my life where I knew no one. In my first picture, I had my orientation name tag and lanyard on with my college ID. I was shy, nervous, and quiet as I left my dorm to meet strangers in my pre-orientation group. However, these strangers quickly became lifelong friends. We all bonded over mutual experiences and the wide array of feelings that being in college brings. Change is important. It helps us make adjustments and comfortably challenge us to find solutions. Going to a college without knowing anyone allowed me to start new and grow into who I want to be. 

Entering into the doctoral program, I noticed myself having similar thoughts to when I first entered undergraduate education. Feelings of nervousness and worries about if this was the right path for me rushed through me as I read my acceptance letter. “I’m really doing this,” I thought to myself and this time I was determined to be prepared. All of my accumulated experiences have supported and guided me during this transition. College has made me feel okay with changes and transitions. It has also made me excited to meet other people and learn about their experiences. My years of work as a school counselor and college advisor supporting students in mapping out their courses and graduation plans helped me design a plan for myself. In class, I feel more confident to share. I have personal and professional experiences that I can draw on to make connections to the course content. The maturity and experiences I have gained have decidedly helped set me up for success. However, the transition has not been all smooth.

It has been four years since I have been in a classroom. This time around, I am not just a student but am also working full-time. Procrastination still hits hard. Some days I sit in front of my computer for 12 hours straight going from work to online class through Zoom. I felt unsure about what I want for my future similar to when I was a first-year college student. This time felt different. I am okay with the feeling of the unknown. One faculty member in my program shared during orientation, “Don’t just go through the program, let the program go through you.” Getting a Ph.D. is more than checking the boxes and the milestones. It is an opportunity to research something that is important to me and be creative about solving problems. As a first-generation college student, I hope to further research how to support first-generation college students and their families through the transition to college. 

College readiness continues beyond secondary education. At the core of college readiness is the exploration of “why?” Financial mobility, career opportunities, and lifelong learning can be contributors. While these contributed to my reasons, my decision was informed through the practice of working in higher education and wanting to create a more accessible place for all students. As I contemplated applying for my doctoral degree, I spoke with current doctoral students, professionals with doctoral degrees, and professors within the programs of interest. One of my concerns was that I did not have traditional research experience. Through my conversations, I was provided with new perspectives on what can be considered research. In my previous jobs, I received microgrants for work projects. This is research. Trying new practices in the work place is also research. Once I accepted that my work experiences have contributed to my academic readiness, the other areas fell into place. I explored scholarships and tuition benefits from the university and ensured I had a strong support system from friends and family. Although it has been a while since I have been in school, as a working professional, college readiness is practice. It is the innovation we bring to our job, paying our bills, and maintaining the circle of support we have to keep us going. 

As part of my job hosting middle school campus visits, I let students know that I am a doctoral student. One student asked, “Does PhD stand for ‘perfect hair day’?” While I wish that having a perfect hair day would contribute to my degree completion, I let the students know that I will have been in college for a total of at least 10 years once I complete my doctoral degree. The sounds of gasps fill the air. I, too, was in the same boat as those middle schoolers. I never would have thought that I would pursue a Ph.D. and be in college for over 10 years. Reflecting on my college experience, the cycle of feelings of doubt and nervousness never seems to end. However, it is through my experiences navigating those feelings that have helped get me through thus far. As I continue to document myself in pictures every year, I cannot wait to see what the next transformation will look like for me. 

About the Author

Kevin Xiong, M.A., is the College Readiness Coordinator within the College Readiness Consortium at the University of Minnesota - Twin Cities. The College Readiness Consortium aims to prepare all students to be college ready through the partnerships with K-12 educators, youth workers, and programs across the UMN campuses. Kevin has extensive experience with college access and success through his work as a High School Counselor, Academic Advisor with the TRIO Student Support Services program, and various college access programs throughout the Twin Cities.